My last post ended at May 21st with an update. My mom passed away the following Friday. Below is how that final week went. I will share my thoughts on this whole process and grief in an upcoming blog.
My mom got the chills today. I had also missed a call from the doctor about the results of the lab work she had. I knew from the sound of the nurse it wasn't good. I ended up reaching out to the home care team and explained that my mom was refusing to go to the hospital. I had taken her temp and it was 99.7 and the day before she was 98.6 when she "randomly" asked me to take it. I put the nurse on speaker and even she said that mom needed to go to the hospital. What followed was emotions running high on both of our parts and without full detail, I took my mom to the hospital that night for one final time. The lab work results were showing decreased kidney function and her liver couldn't decrease the bilirubin and her numbers were still high. She had sepsis and she chose not to treat the infection. She chose hospice instead. That was her choice and it had always been about her choice.
By Wednesday, mom was medicated and pain free. She was still struggling with nausea and vomiting and a new med was added. She also got her DNR (do not resuscitate) during the evening of the 25th. She also chose not to have visitors any longer. It was nearing the end and it would be me and the nurses at that point.
Laura McFarlane passed away at 8:10 pm. "The great Native American Spirit has come to take me home." That's what my mom wanted me to post when she finally left this world. She is finally free from any aches and pains and the cancer that brought us to this point. Three weeks is all we had which is not long enough but no amount of time would suffice. She died pain free and loved from both the human world and beyond.
Her wish was to donate her body to science. While it seems that can't happen, there will still be no funeral or service, nor did she want an obituary. We will proceed with the cremation as if she was granted that final wish. While that may be hard for some, I have kept every promise to do as she wished through this whole process and this was one of those wishes.
Thedacare Appleton and their staff were absolutely amazing through this whole process and I'd also like to thank friends and family for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.
She referenced this poem one day while we were talking about her leaving this world. I hope it brings you all some comfort.
I brought mom home on June 8th and had no idea what that would feel like. It didn't feel real and was like an out of body experience. Like I couldn't believe (still struggle actually) that she's gone and so fast!