Good gravy! There is a lot of information on the web in regards to what to eat, what not to eat, what to limit, what to always have on hand, and the list goes on and on. Ugh!
I finally went in for a physical this year. If I told you when my last one was, you'd be shocked I can guarantee it. I lived under the notion that the less I knew the better. I had my cholesterol checked last year and it was normal. My blood pressure was normal. I mean, I was in "good" shape. Round is a shape, right?
On April 19, I found out my cholesterol had gone up 30 points in 6 months! Well, I knew I needed to take care of my health but never imagined it would change so quickly. Discussion about my health was the push I needed; the eye opener to stop my destructive patterns. A whole lot easier said than done of course
On April 22nd, I decided to give up certain foods with sugar at the top of that list. I haven't drank soda for several years, minus the very rare occasion I had it in a drink. My favorite was a kiddy cocktail which guess what? It's loaded with sugar! So no more cakes, pastries, cookies, or candy. I also cut out processed foods for the most part. I basically merged into a low carb lifestyle.
So it's been 2 months and my clothes fit better. Pants I couldn't wear before now fit and I'm not struggling to breathe while I'm wearing them. Tops that used to be tight on my hips now hang down. Even with all that said, I have been feeling like my changes have made no impact when I saw photos of myself this past weekend.
My brain apparently thinks I should look like I've lost 50 pounds already in photos. What my brain tells me I look like and what I actually look like in photos are two very different things. How frustrating to be deceived by your eyes! I noticed that I started to self sabotage after I saw them, the same damn night!! I started eating things I wouldn't have eaten otherwise like chips and cereal. I continued that through yesterday by eating Cheetoh Puffs, Halo Top Ice Cream (the whole container) and Praline Pecans (which were disgusting by the way. I can't believe I used to eat shit like that all the time!) Sure, that's not horrible in the grand scheme of things but it could be if I didn't stop to recognize it. I would have ended up right back to where I started.
I've learned that I can't have a little because it always turns into a lot. Processed foods are like a gateway to me for sugar. It started with chips and turned into ice cream and candied nuts. How crazy!
Kudos to me for seeing the signs. Kudos to me for getting back on track today. I've always held myself to ridiculous standards in the past when it came to my eating and I was very mean to myself when I ate something I "wasn't supposed to" eat. Now, I'm more realistic. While I am doing better, there will be times when I have rice or I eat chips. My goal is to just make sure that is more the exception rather than the rule. I've been doing pretty amazing thus far.
I go back to the doctor in early July for a check in on my blood work. It will be then that I actually get to see how much weight I've lost as well. While I'd like it to be 30 pounds, that may not be reality and I'm bracing for that since the numbers are such a mental game for me. It's why I don't have a scale at my house anymore. I would weigh myself daily and be mad when it was up even though I know damn well that weight fluctuates. So, I'm trying to be happy with even a 10 pound weight loss in the past 11 weeks (by the time I get there). Fingers crossed!