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February 3, 2020

It's human nature to compare yourself to others, to wonder if you measure up in some way or another. It can be very detrimental to the psyche because we are all so uniquely different but alas I know it's an issue at times for me.

I'm in several groups as most of you are. One of the groups I help moderate and I find myself wishing I spoke as eloquently as some others do. I read the posts and then I think that they are so much better than I because they pour out these positive vibes and I don't. I generally don't interact much for my own reasons. It makes me feel like a total hardass. Don't get me wrong, I can be. I'll be the first to say I can be a total bitch when the mood strikes me. It's just that I wonder what I'm bringing to the table if ya feel me. Maybe it's because the group is so big in comparison to this one. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm supposed to have my shit together (which I don't by the way). Hell maybe it's because I'm still healing and the way people pop off triggers me. Yep, that's definitely it. The angry outbursts, the complaining, the need to put others down just pisses me right off!!I'm all for speaking your truth, 100%. What I'm not entertaining at this point in my life is anyone's need/desire to be rude. You can have an adult conversation without being rude or name calling or maybe you take time to control yourself before you respond. Or if you're like me, you don't respond because you have nothing of proper value to add.The world has definitely lost manners in the age of electronics. Suddenly there are "trolls" and "keyboard warriors" and fake accounts all so people can hide. Why? Are we all so hurt and traumatized by life experiences that we've lost all compassion for humankind? 🤷🏻‍♀️

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